I did a search for blogs writing about customer service and was not surprised to see almost all of the posts about what crappy customer service someone had. The others were related to jobs in the field itself. The reason I was doing the search is that my post is NOT about bad customer service directly. Rather, its from the perspective of the person behind the desk giving the customer service. In this case, from my own experience.

I’ve worked in customer service for 20 years. I’ve worked in retail, the hotel/resort industry and while providing office support services. In the hotel/resort industry, I found that generally, folks are happy because they are traveling and on holiday. While in retail, folks are in a hurry to get from A to B with the least amount of hassle. In every type of customer service position, there is always a high expectation of quality, timeliness and expertise. Things I myself expect when I am the customer. However, there is an fine line between service and servitude.

I am happy to help others, genuinely pleased to help share knowledge, experience, advice or an opinion. Simple things customers would benefit in while choosing a product or service. I am NOT happy to help when a customer snaps his/her fingers, treats me with disdain (because I’m a mere retail worker) or decides to snap at me because he/she had a bad day. Or worse, has outrageous expectations I couldn’t possibly fulfill. My experience and expertise is freely given, happily provided and intended to be beneficial to the customer. How very odd is it that I would not want to share that experience and expertise with a rude, obnoxious customer?

Enter The Rush customer who is in a rush because they are late to work, school, daycare or whatever appointment they made. She is already flustered while trying to find the product she can’t do without and is getting down right pissed off for having to wait in a line of 3 people with ample cashiers to serve her.  Eventually she slams said must have product on the floor or nearby cash counter, mutters obscenities and storms out the door.

An example of a male version includes a man with his 10 year old boy in tow arriving at the cash counter where we were skimming the till of excess cash (for security reasons). He could not be bothered for me to finish after I politely told him I’d be just a moment. Not a soul in the line, just him and his boy. He obviously felt that I should have dropped everything I was doing to serve him instantly, because he snarled at his child to drop the single candy he was allowing him to purchase and dragged him toward the door, muttering under his breath. I actually said, “Excuse me?!” and the boy thought I meant him, the child turned and said to me, “It’s not my fault.” I replied, “Of course it isn’t honey,” while his father was telling us and the world at large that we were rude. Aghast, I stood there with the cashier, our hearts going out to that poor boy. And angered that his father made such a poor example.

Then there is the customer who arrives with a preformed opinion looking for a debate or a fight. The Expert customer already knows better, she already knows more than you, but she’s going to waste her and your time anyway. All to prove to herself that she does, in fact, know better.

One of my personal favorites is The Man who wants to belittle the mere woman behind the counter with as many witnesses as possible. IE, an audience. He’s the jerk that is probably going home to abuse his wife or mother, depending on who is stuck with him at the time.

A classic example of The Man Syndrome is a 20 something male who lost the PIN of the phone card he purchased. He came back to the store to get a new one, only to discover that the only way to get a new one was to make another purchase. That’s just the way the cash register worked. You swipe the phone card and after payment was made, the PIN would print out. This was explained to him very politely and concisely. However, another cashier remembered him from earlier that day and stated she saw him put the PIN in his back pocket. That was confirmation enough for me. He clearly lost the PIN, or was trying to scam us for another one. The man didn’t even have a receipt.

This customer hung around the cash register for the next 15 or so minutes harassing me. Asking me if I liked my job, if my job included customer service and even claiming “abuse” in front of several more customers in the line. Customers that felt the need to go find another staff member to help me  (I was the supervisor at the time and knew my rights, I didn’t need the help, but they felt I did).  I finally had to face off with the guy and tell him that I could not help him further, I could not change the policy of the store and asked him to leave.  I even informed him that if he felt he needed to confront management come morning (it was evening) to get me fired from my minimum wage job to make himself feel better, here were their names.

Waltzing in, minus fanfare, is The Businessman who has to stoop to doing his own errands. This type of customer is impervious to kindly comments or cordial greetings. If you even get eye contact, it’s a priveledge. I find it particularly amusing when they are forced to ask a direct question, or direction, to find what they are looking for. Grudgingly admitting they are not at all accustomed to rely on someone else entirely to perform menial tasks like finding and purchasing, say, deodorant.

An example here was my being asked to resize documents on a photocopier. The man gave me instructions and actually asked me, “Think you can handle that?” (little lady) like I was a helpless idiot female who couldn’t spell my own name.

A similar customer type is The Snob. Often she won’t make eye contact either. If she does deign to speak to you it is with complete understanding that she is your better. She will “one up” you no matter what you say.

An example of this customer was a woman who bought a birthday card, dangled it in front of my face with her body half turned away from me. I took it, scanned it, accepted payment and asked if she wanted the receipt. She sauntered out the door, the receipt still in my hand, without so much as a thank you, let alone acknowledgment I even existed.

A frequent type of customer I see is The Complainer. She *will* find fault in something, anything. Most likely in everything she comes across in you, the company you work for, or the workplace in general. This type of customer probably read your flier and is expecting one day sale items to still be available 10 minutes before closing time. She could be the one looking at the display that is not yet priced for an upcoming sale and states she is here NOW, could she have the sale price, NOW? She may even be the very customer who came to your  store looking for a product that “may” be on sale next week, can you find out or tell me now?

Most certainly, The Complainer, is the customer who when faced with the very unlikely fulfillment of their very likely outrageous expectation, yowls for all the world to hear about her poor treatment or your poor service. Worse yet, she calls back 20 minutes later in a fine, frothing frenzy to speak to the supervisor or manager about how awful her treatment was or how terrible your company is. This type of customer can’t even be appeased, she is now so beyond her own self control that she won’t even hear you or what you are saying. Until and unless you say the word “free” in some context.

There is one more customer type I feel the need to mention. And this one is The Loonie, the weirdo, or the one that is asking questions that are impossible to answer or fullfill. This customer has it in her head that something IS the way she says it is and you’d better listen or do what she says, even though it is unreasonable. This type of customer makes your life hell. And you are so relieved when she finally leaves.

A good example of this one is the slightly demented elderly lady who is sadly past her prime, but desperately hanging on to her beauty. She’s wearing make up that is too dark, and gaudily applied. Her white hair roots are showing and she’s wearing sunglasses that prevents her from really seeing anything at all. She asks for help finding make up and hair products that will help wrinkles and limp hair when there are no such products to begin with. Not really. You know it, she knows it, but she makes you suggest this item and that one over and over until you finally, desperately, find an excuse to leave her to her own devices. You feel bad, but you know nothing you say or do will help the woman. And worse, you know that she will drag you around the store asking question after question until she gets finally bored or tired.

In conclusion, here’s a shout out to those of you in the customer service industry. Know your rights! You do NOT have to have a beaming smile on while customers rant at you and treat you like crap. If you feel uncomfortable, for any reason whatsoever, in serving a customer, you can refuse to serve him/her. You can excuse yourself and ask for a supervisor or another employee to help you or help the customer instead of you. And you cannot be penalized for it. It is your legal right. Know that. You do not, ever, have to degrade yourself to make a customer happy. If you are, stop it! Or find another place of employment. For your health, for your sense of self worth even.

To the customers out there who think they are always right. Get over yourselves! Customers are NOT always right. This is the 21st century here folks. Just because someone is stuck behind a cash counter or on the floor helping your grumpy ass, does not give you license to treat that person like a servant, less than dirt between your toes. Learn some manners and use them. Do unto others, you know how the saying goes. Know that the person you are treating like crap is a feeling, emotional being with every right you have. Put a smile on even if you are having a crappy day, odds are pretty good the customer service you get will also be with a smile. If you snarl at folks, you will get the same treatment.

And on that note, I’m happy to report … no, I’m ecstatic … that I will never, ever work in retail again. I’d rather live in a cardboard box lol. I have one more evening supervisor shift at the major drugstore I was employed at, and that’s ALL. I have accepted a new job and start July 28th. Thank gawd it has nothing to do with customer service and that I will rarely have to deal with customers at all. I may even enjoy the Christmas holiday this year.

Tags | customer service, customer service industry, customer service rant, customers from hell